1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? my eyes

2. How much cash do you have on you? $10 and a "sex" dollar

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? BEST!

4. Favorite planet? Krypton

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? roommate Katie

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? regular ring, i'm not cool enough to have a ringtone

7. What shirt are you wearing? black tanktop

8. Do you "label" yourself? Unique. or weird.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? FLAT. i'm barefoot

10. Bright or Dark Room? bright mostly, unless...

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Kate Lynch? WHAT. A. HEFFA. oh and she needs to eat as well

12. Ever "spilled the beans"? pahahahaha. yeah. but not on the important stuff

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? studying for my French oral exam

14. What did the last text message in your cell phone say? "Heck yeah!!!"

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? hell no

16. What's a saying that you say a lot? "muscled", "dealt with", "are you serious?" "i know right?"

17. Who told you they loved you last? hahahaha actually it was Eric because i said something mean to him and he said "well damnnit i love you too intan."

18. Last furry thing you touched? furry? hahahahaha i don't touch "furry" things.... OH WAIT! MY LEGS! i need to shave

19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? 0

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? 0

21. Favorite age you have been so far? probably 16... lot of "firsts" that year 

22. Your worst enemy? :))))))) if you know you know the two. nah just kidding i got nothin but love. really. 

23. What is your current desktop picture? Tom Welling :)

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Hey Katie do you want me to vacuum in this little area too?"

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? A MILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a stupid question. You know that you could BUY BACK that regret right? ;) 

26. Do you love/ like someone? :) you know me.

I think the next time I post this thing will be a list of dislikes. I thought of a lot of things I disliked the other day. See if you agree with me. 

current mood: I'm thirsty! Ramadhan!

Someone has advised me to take this here kissing purity test. And the results are.......

Your Kissing Purity Score: 51% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

For you, kissing is not a casual thing.

Hey, Happy Birthday to Brian!

current mood: hehehe

Aww, it's my birthday!!!!!!!

YOU. Come to my house tonight. Show up around 6 or 7.

current mood: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Er, I should say. The last entry that means anything. I'm so tired of posting my thoughts on here (big mistake on my part, yes I know) and people taking it the wrong way. People who think they know everything in the gotdamn world. So, except for the occasional survey and birthday notices, this is the last entry.

If I have learned anything from little livejournal, it is this:

Nobody understands me. No one. Sorry, but. Nobody really does.

And I'm ok with that.......

current mood: the end.

I am currently looking at 3 pictures.

All of them have me in it.

They all have been taken within one year's time.

It's funny what you see just by looking at pictures.

I can just tell. Pictures reveal everything.

I look at each one.

Really look.

Compare.

The body languages are different in all 3.

I look at myself smiling back at me. They're all really cute pictures of me.

Two of them are different from the third.

The others in the pictures are not smiling. Well, one is.

But they are happy as can be. Extremely.

I can just tell. Pictures reveal everything.

My face is the same.

My smiles are the same.

But my eyes are different.

I can just tell. Pictures reveal everything.

current mood: ????

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Ceumin: hope you die then

Lesson one, children: do not ask a question if you do not want to know the answer.

But what if you need to know the answer? I never guaranteed that I wouldn't get upset. I just wanted the truth. I needed to know the truth. I need to know why I am in a different place right now in my life than I thought I would be a year ago. And you know what? I COULD HANDLE THE TRUTH! Why did you not tell me this the day after it happened? I don't understand that. It sucks- yes. To be cast aside for a moment. A moment that can change your entire life. A moment that HAS changed your entire life. No, I didn't ask you about it to "ream" you. I didn't ask you because I wanted to "fucking make it easier for me to um, run to someone else." That's bullshit. That's paranoia. I don't need to run to someone else. I asked you because I needed to know. I need to know why. Do I regret asking? No. Absolutely not. Because it's something that I deserved to hear. No more lies, no more cover ups to make me feel better. No more excuses. I'm not mad. I said I wasn't. I'm not furious. I'm not livid.

I am heartbroken. I am shocked. Surprised. Disappointed. But above it all..... I am just.... heartbroken.

Lesson two: never hurt anyone intentionally.

This really is just a lesson to everyone. I mean, honestly, why would you? You love them. You care about them. Why would you hurt someone? I don't understand. For all the messed up shit that I've done this past year, I can honestly say, with all my heart, that I have never done anything to intentionally hurt someone. No. Because I love people too much. They can say what they want, do what they want. You just have to take it for what it is. And be the best person you can be. Or at least try to be. I ask you, what do you accomplish by hurting another human being? Do you really feel better about yourself? Or the situation? Does it ever really fix anything? I may have hurt people, but it has never been done intentionally. Never.

And lastly.

Loyalty.

What is it? Someone tell me because apparently I have no clue and neither does anyone else around me. Seriously; I want an answer. Definition. Or at least someone who really knows what it means to tell me. And teach me. I thought I was. I actually was back in the day. Loyalty and devotion. And to tell you the gotdamn truth, I had both.

Think about it. Loyalty.

current mood: why why why.... to me?

Because I can't sleep. I'm too busy thinking and laying and listening to music.

If I were a month, I'd be: May

If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Friday- some work, but mostly play

If I were a time of day, I'd be: 12:01

If I were a planet, I'd be: Krypton

If I were an animal, I'd be: A dolphin

If I were a direction, I'd be: Up

If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: A pillow

If I were a historical figure, I'd be: important

If I were a liquid, I'd be: holy water

If I were a tree, I'd be: a palm tree

If I were a bird, I'd be: a seahawk

If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: a rose, with many thorns.

If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: sunny and 72

If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: Cupid

If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: a guitar

If I were a wild animal, I'd be: a komodo dragon

If I were a color, I'd be: cerulean blue or crimson

If I were an emotion, I'd be: the overwhelmingly happy that causes everyone to smile for no reason at all

If I were a vegetable, I'd be: a potato

If I were a sound, I'd be: the popping of a new tennis can, or a ping pong ball hitting the paddle

If I were a car, I'd be: a land rover

If I were a song, I'd be: the one that makes you warm and fuzzy inside

If I were a movie, I'd be: Dumb and Dumber :)

If I were a book, I'd be: a pop-up with many flaps to play with

If I were a food, I'd be: a strawberry

If I were a place, I'd be: a quiet place where you can look at stars

If I were a material, I'd be: silk

If I were a scent, I'd be: the one that makes your heart go pitter patter

If I were an object, I'd be: a picture frame

If I were a body part, I'd be: a hand

If I were a facial expression, I'd be: the biggest smile you've ever seen

If I were a shape, I'd be: a diamond :)

If I were a number, I'd be: 2

If I were an article of clothing, I'd be: a button up shirt

current mood: thinking thinking thinking

Forgive this mood, I'm still thinking about the episode of Smallville at the prom.... and it's gotten me..... weird. No matter what you think, I am a softy. I love the little things that just make me smile wide. When you think things go unnoticed, I am the one who notices them. I love looking at people's eyes when they smile... it's one of my favorite things.

I want someone to go get ice cream with me anytime I want.

I want someone to cuddle with me as we go to sleep.

I want someone to hesitate and look nervous as they ask me to dance.

I want someone to smell my hair.

I want someone to just want to take a picture of me.

I want someone to call by their nickname, and vice versa.

I want someone to ride go-karts and ride rides and play laser tag with.

I want someone to sit with.

I want someone to stay up with me just to watch the sunrise.

I want someone to laugh at my stupid jokes.

I want someone to smile back at me with the same smile that I gave them.

I want music playing in our heads as we slow dance.

I want someone to think, as I walk by, "There goes the girl of my dreams."

I just want someone to understand who I am, why I am the way I am, and who I strive to be. I want someone to understand me.

................

current mood: I don't really know....

At the moment, life is good.

I am cared about.

The Halo tournament is over.

No big tests this week.

I am talking to my best friends that are far away from me on a daily basis.

I like someone, and he likes me as well.

And I have my best friend. Very important to me.

No complaints :)

current mood: my smile would make you smile

My mom sends me a lot of forwards. I've gotten this one before, but I like it. So here it is:

 1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

Everything isn't as perfect as it seems. It's not so simple. Sometimes I have no idea what I want. I change my mood every day, every hour, every minute. I don't know why. I miss things. I miss people. But. I am happy.

I think......

current mood: confused as hell